Just One Last Memory
by Freedom Dancer
Summary: Toushiro never liked sympathy, but as death is clawing his life away, he begins to understand why his friends want to help him so much. But can he pull through the pain- both physical and emotional- to deal with it? Rated T for violence and blood


He gasped out in pain as blood dripped from his gashed stomach.

Oh gosh the blood.

Bright crimson red liquid that could kill you if you didn't have enough. Why! Must it be him who was like this now? What would his friends think if they saw him at this point in time!

They would think he was weak. Thoughts of what they might say, what they would say, ran through his head.

Weak.

Weakling.

Look at you! You look a fright!

Here, let me help you Toushiro!

No! He hated those words of sympathy. People always wanted to help him, but they only annoyed at him at times like this. They were a nuisance! Especially Rangiku, Momo and Ichigo... But there was something he couldn't emotionally stay mad at. They were kind people who cared, unlike his old family. Oh, the painful memories of those days. Being discriminated and thrown to the side like a pile of rags and no one caring whether he was hurt or not. But kind words no longer mattered. They were a waste. A waste of time; a waste of breath; a waste of feeling. It wasn't like they actually meant it, did they? Whatever, it just didn't matter anymore. That was in the past and it could not, under any circumstances be changed.

Pain surged through Toushiro's body, but he didn't show it, at least, tried his hardest not to. He cringed forward in a swift motion and started coughing. A salty taste made it's way up his throat, and the feeling of velvet brushed his tongue. More blood. The urge to cough ran across his being and he hurled the liquid forward.

Toushiro fell to his knees, clenching his angry stomach in his hands. Agony and sadness seized his whole body. He couldn't deny that there were people who wanted to help him now and who actually cared. But the memories of his old life were still fresh in his mind, as if they had only happened yesterday.

_"Look at him... white hair at thirteen years old.. is that even possible?" One girl whispered, her eyes locked on the young boy in disgust._

_The girl she was talking to looked him up and down and shook her head. "My grandmother did not receive white hair until she was in her early 80's... It's impossible..."_

_"Toushiro! Come here now! You were supposed to take these swords and have the __**kabuki **__actors use them in their play! Now what shall they use? They are gone! Can you not perform any task right! Are you stupid, boy?"_

_Toushiro kneeled down in front of a bald man with a broad face that was tanned to look like leather. His dark brown eyes glared hard at him, before his hands wheeled up and pummeled the boy to the ground. "You will not be receiving any payment what-so-ever! Tell your father to come and talk with me!"_

_Toushiro cringed and laid his small hand upon his right cheek; tears forming in his eyes. He nodded sadly and no longer looked the man in the eyes- the ice cold eyes. Standing up slowly, he was knocked back down again and pelted with rocks from behind him. "Get out of here! You do not belong in a place of peace and serenity evil spirit!" _

_The boys threw more rocks and one hit Toushiro square in the middle of his forehead. He bit his lip to hold back the hot tears burning the back of his eyes. "Go on, get out of here demon!"_

_Toushiro looked at them, heart pounding in anger. "I am not a demon nor am I an evil spirit! I'm just a teenager!"_

_One of the boys stopped and scoffed at him. "Yeah, one who does not belong in this village. Can you not see you are not welcome here?"_

_The white-headed males eyes widened and he scrambled to his feet. "You aren't welcome! Get out!" The boys started throwing rocks again and Toushiro's legs started moving at a quick pace towards his home. _

_He pulled open the straw mat that they used as a door and removed his sandals. "What was your payment Toushiro,'' his father bellowed from the living area. _

_Toushiro gulped hard. "I have not received a payment, as I did not perform a task properly," he answered back. _

_The next thing the young boy knew, he was on the ground screaming as his father slapped him and kicked his stomach non-stop. "Please father! I beg your forgiveness! Please stop! __**Please**__!"_

_The pounding continued like a sledge-hammer against the sidewalk, and oh did it hurt. The next kick caught him off guard and it slammed his head back when he tried to curl up into a ball. Blood dripped from his mouth and the world turned in slow, lazy circles. His vision slid in and out of focus. If only the town's people could see him now. They would be laughing, cheering his father on for ridding them of their biggest problem! If only his mother were still there to stop his dad from the beatings and protect him from the village, maybe then it would all stop. Finally, as another blow captured his breath, he screamed. "What would mom do?"_

_His father stopped and the blue eyes glaring at him hardened even more before his brows furrowed together. Toushiro's father fell to his knees and grabbed the boy's kimono collar. "What do you know insolent child!"_

_The boy felt his air leave him and his father's hand reared back again. "Father please...," he whispered. _

_The blow was hard across Toushiro's cheek and it knocked him out of even his father's hands. "Never bring your mother's name into this and learn your place boy!"_

_Toushiro sniffled and he started to cringe in fear. "Y-yes fath-"_

_"Do not call me your father! You are a disgrace to the Hitsugaya name! I am your master you __**baka**__!"_

_Feeling abused and broken, the white headed male nodded in agreement. "Y-yes sir,'' he mumbled, his remaining pride gone._

_"I will go speak with your employer and see him have me paid in full amount as I will be working your shift, and earning your pay! If only you could do things right for a change,'' his father growled lowly. "You aren't even worth the food I provide for you..."_

_The boy gulped weakly, all color drained from his face. He shyly bit his lip and stood hesitantly from the ground. "Yes sir..." he replied weakly. _

_Without another word, his father pulled on a pair of sandals and stormed out angrily. He pulled the straw door open in one swift motion and disappeared from sight. Toushiro frightfully stood up and walked out, making sure to stay far behind his father. When he realized his guardian was no longer in sight, he ran towards the out-skirts of the village. His heart raced in his chest and his mind flashed what would happen if his father ever caught him, but what would his guardian care? He abused him for the sport of it. That was the point- the game- the fun of it all. It was all by chance if he could get away. That was __**if**__ he got away. _

_Toushiro took in a deep breath and kept running- finally escaping the pain- and ran towards a small stream far away from the village. It's crystal blue water ran sleekly over the brown and grey stones underneath the liquid. It made a small roar as it rushed over and clashed with ripples that it had created from earlier crashes. It glistened slightly from where the sun peeked through several trees and their early Autumn leaves. "It's-it's beautiful out here..." he gasped in awe._

_A rustle broke his thoughts in half and he turned suddenly. Footsteps... Had he been followed? He had been careless enough not to cover his own footprints! A twig snapped in the distance but it even seemed to deafen out the sound of the rushing water. Leaves crumpled as Toushiro took a defying step back. "Toushiro... Toushiro..."_

_The boy jumped. "Who-who's out there?" His stuttering voice called._

_He clunched his hands into fists and his eyes went wide with fear. "Don't worry... Toushiro... I'm here to save you-help you escape such a dreadful place such as this..." The enchanting voice whispered through the forest._

_The male's voice sounded like the wind: graceful, fascinating... deadly... There was that hint of anger lurking in even this creatures voice. But yet... _

_Toushiro swallowed and his hands relaxed into their regular shape and figure. "What... what exactly do you mean?"_

_"I mean..." the voice began "that I can help you escape your life here..."_

_Confused, bewildered, and scared, Toushiro started turning in jerking motions, looking for the form that controlled the voice. "Where are you? Show yourself!" Toushiro commanded._

_Silence._

_"Where are you? Who are you? I demand to know!"_

_Another long, eerie silence passed before the wind changed direction and a gentle breeze blew overhead. Frightened, the white-headed male started to back up, easing towards the river. He swallowed everything and everyone he was and stopped. Maybe whoever or whatever it was had left him be._

_He turned slowly and stared into the water, watching his reflection. Who was he? A large bruise had formed on his cheek and it was glowing a sickly purple-green that was etched in with blacks and blues of all shades. Tears formed in his eyes. He wasn't Toushiro Hitsugaya. He was a slave used for beating and serving his master, taking the hits when he didn't perform something correctly. He was an outcast- white hair and teal eyes. It was only given to the elders of his town! _

_He fell to his knees, sobs racking his body. That was who he __**really**__ was now. It didn't matter how much someone tried to change him -not that anyone would- he was nothing more than a boy who was hated and worked to the bone. "I came to save you!"_

_Toushiro -to stunned to move- saw the mirroring image and his eyes went wide with horror. A katana with a black scrabard had been raised directly above his back and the thing that wielded it. Oh gosh... The thing that wielded it looked like a __**jikinini**__. A hollow. _

_It stood above him, eyes blaring red like sirens. It took deep husky breaths and let its true side appear. Long, dark hair hung off of it- a nightmare for sure. It's long claws gripped the hilt of the blade and it smiled eerily. "Let me ake you to peace!"_

_With a lunge of the sword, it thrusted down into Toushiro's back and blood spurted out. A small, muffled scream escaped the male's lips and the world slipped in and out of focus. Blackness surged through and with one final, hard to grasp breath, he collapsed to the ground-dead._

Toushiro shuttered at the memory from when he was alive. The feeling of being there had been complete and utter misory, but at least he was in the Soul Society now, or was. His head ached and the urge to vomit hit him in a sudden wave.

Lunging forward with a great heave, he started to gag. He felt his body start to betray him- turn against him in every way possible. His throat burned as the last bit of bile dripped out of his mouth, velvety blood running down with it.

He fell to his knees in pain and grasped in a breath before falling completely over. Toushiro rolled onto his back, staring blankly up at the sky. The teal in his usually energetic eyes had disappeared and the gash on his stomach was letting blood pour.

Toushiro.

Captain Hitsugaya.

Outcast.

Stupid boy.

No matter what he was, he was surely alone, hurting... and scared. He remembered after the Soul Society, there was nothing more.

He was gone.

Toushiro wanted to live desperately and he gripped the grass in hands tightly.** If I'm going to die**, he thought, **I'm going to die in a frosted land...** "Reign Over the Frosted Heavens, Hyourin..." -he choked on his words- "Hyourinmaru..."

The ice dragon gently rushed out of the katana blade and wrapped itself around its master. Within seconds, the forest was covered in ice and snow. Staring down at Toushiro, a crystal tear rolled out of Hyourinmaru's eyes.

Toushiro stared back at Hyourinmaru, eyes dull, skin as pale as a sheet, and breathing almost impossible.

The world was spinning in lazy circles, and colors started blurring. At least, the sky was a hazy grey and white, and his surroundings were that of beautiful ice. Spots of sun still shone through the clouds and tree leaves, making the frozen water sparkle. "Captain!"

"Toushiro! Toushiro!"

Who was that? He heard his name and 'captain' being shouted over again, but they seemed to fade out the louder they got.

With a final blink of his eyes and a twist of his head, he saw a woman with golden hair and blue eyes standing over him crying; a brunnete girl with dark chestnut eyes beside her; a black headed girl with dark violet eyes beside her, and an orange headed male with bright tan eyes beside them. Who were they? What did they want? What was going on?

His eyes closed and he weakly fell asleep, before violently being shaken. "Captain! Don't leave us! Please!" one of the voices pleaded. "Please! We _need_ you!"

**I can't **he thought**. It's over... it's all over... please... just leave me... to die... alone...**

He grasped in a final breath of air and his eyes sealed shut-permanently. All he could think to say to them was goodbye... my friends...


End file.
